Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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