I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
