ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
