I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm both gender and math confused
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
