i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
