Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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