We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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