How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
