spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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