Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
