Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
