They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
