How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
