sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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