I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize