Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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