Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
