Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
