Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
