I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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