He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
