just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
