Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
