Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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