I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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