OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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