Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
