There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
