I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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