I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
