saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
