Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
