she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
