I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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