I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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