He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
