you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
