Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You are a booty call, not a friend.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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