Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize