I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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