Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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