It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
