Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
