How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
