That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
