and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
