ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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