I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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