I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
