how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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