She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
party gras won. party gras always wins.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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