i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
