We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
