Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
