addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
