im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
