how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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