i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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