i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We are all done wearing pants today
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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