She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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