Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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