Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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