Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
